


Solitude and Silence

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: There's an instant where Tony thinks Loki's just going to stab him through with the scepter. It isn't a contingency he'd planned for, and the fear is real and sudden and altogether too much. But at the last second, Loki pulls the scepter back, connecting not with the arc reactor but with the vulnerable skin just beneath. Tony has just enough time to fear what's about to happen, and then.Then there's nothing.Loki realizes the arc reactor is what allowed Tony to avoid the mind control and manages to avoid the complication to overtake the genius' mind.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2019





	Solitude and Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [KiwiBerry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiwiBerry/pseuds/KiwiBerry) in the [stony_stocking_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2019) collection. 



> Written for thatkiwiperson's prompt:
> 
> _Avengers 2012 AU. Loki’s mind control actually works on Tony pre-Battle of New York. Cue Avengers having to fight Tony with pre or eventual Stony feelings?_
> 
> There's less of the fighty-fighty and more of the feelsy-feelsy; I hope that's okay. Enjoy, dear!!

Three centimeters. That's all the difference it makes. Three centimeters and that split second of Tony's overconfidence.

"Performance issues, not uncommon, one out of five—"

There's an instant where Tony thinks Loki's just going to stab him through with the scepter. It isn't a contingency he'd planned for, and the fear is real and sudden and altogether too much. But at the last second, Loki pulls the scepter back, connecting not with the arc reactor but with the vulnerable skin just beneath. Tony has just enough time to fear what's about to happen, and then.

Then there's nothing.

* * *

Steve isn't quite sure what it is that sets the worry scrambling under his skin ever more intensely the closer they get to Manhattan. To his home.

The only piece of home he has left.

But there's something wrong down there, something more than what's coming from the _literal hole in the sky_ above them. Steve can feel it, taste it, there's _something_ —

The _something_ slams into the side of their chopper, dragging them to the ground in one go that leaves Steve's stomach in his throat.

Oh. This is bad. This is so, so bad.

* * *

Thor had gotten there first. He'd taken out exactly thirteen of the Chitauri foot soldiers and landed on the Tower as though to face Loki before Tony got to him. Tony had gotten in two good punches before Loki sent him on his way to help with the destruction in Manhattan, with half a silent order to do what he needs to do about the Avengers. It isn't until he's out among the madness and chaos that he begins to understand. The Chitauri are everywhere and the Avengers are just coming in. Just beginning to take in all the damage they're going to have to undo. There's so much there, so much still to do and they'll have to do it all while fending off Tony himself.

An army, Loki had said. Now Tony thinks he understands.

* * *

Steve drags Natasha and Clint out of the wreckage of the chopper and into what he knows is going to be a goddamn fight for their lives.

The metal hand that grips him by the bicep as soon as he drops Clint to his feet is confirmation of that.

_Fuck._

There's no time to cushion the blow of his body against the building Stark has just flung him into. He can feel the bruises forming and healing under his skin, the abrasions that rise immediately and start to fade just as soon. He clambers to his feet, fist tightening on his shield as he makes his way across the street as deliberately as he can.

Natasha's already engaging with the suit, and Clint has his arrows notched and ready to let loose every time Natasha gives him an opening. None of it seems to be enough to take Stark down.

 _Cognitive recalibration_ , Natasha had said. There's got to be a way to get through to Stark. To get him back on their side. A knock to the head would be something he'd have planned for and protected against in the suit, with as brilliant as he apparently is.

But if they can get him out of the helmet—

Steve darts into the fray, shield at the ready. "Widow, Hawkeye. I have a plan."

* * *

The fight is a dance, easy and beautiful in every way. There's so much strength coiled in the man's muscles, anger that he seems to be just dying to get out. Breath and movement, everything they need in that moment together. A fight unlike anything he's ever had before.

It's exhilarating.

Tony revels in the fight, leaning into the exhilaration of what Cap is giving him. An enemy, yes, but one that gives him so much joy to fight. It's everything he wants from the battle, everything he needs to bring about the worth he needs. Everything he needs to serve Loki.

Tony hadn't understood the power of an army or the true glory of victory. Not until this moment. Not until he has Captain America's face buried in the cement and his boot in the man's back.

* * *

"You told me to put on the suit, didn't you? Said we could go a few rounds?"

Steve can feel the weight of Stark's boot in the middle of his back. It hurts in a way he hadn't expected.

"Big man in a suit of armor. That all you think I am?" Stark presses his boot down a little harder, and Steve feels more than hears the two repulsor shots he sends off at what must be Natasha and Clint. At least he hasn't hurt any civilians directly yet. "Looks like that's enough to beat you, old man."

Steve closes his eyes. "I was wrong."

Stark stops. "Come again?"

"That's what you want to hear, isn't it? I was wrong."

Stark is silent above him.

"I know you were up there, toe-to-toe with Loki. Could have bested him with words alone if he didn't have the scepter. You think Thor didn't tell us? Think we don't know?" Steve twists to look up at Stark, his features hidden behind the faceplate. "I know this isn't you, Stark, and I know you're strong enough to fight him."

For a moment, Steve thinks the bait isn't going to be enough. Then the faceplate comes up, revealing the ethereal electric blue film over his eyes. "You think—"

"Now!"

Clint's arrow explodes at the back of Stark's helmet, sending his head snapping forward and back again. Steve winces; the whiplash is going to be a bitch, but at least that might be enough—

Stark laughs. It's the wrong kind of sound, knowing and dangerous and Loki through and through. "You think he didn't learn from before? From the archer? It's why he chose me. This suit protects me better than you might think. I've had enough concussions in my day; the protection here is enough to—"

Natasha seems to have heard enough. She's gotten in close enough to get her arms around Stark's throat. Stark jerks back, reaching behind him to grab at Natasha. Natasha makes quick work of... _something_ at the base of the helmet, poking and prodding and, oh, that's the helmet retracting; Steve could—

He doesn't stop to think. He grabs his shield and takes Stark's back as Natasha disengages. The second she's clear, he drives his shield into the back of Stark's skull. He pulls exactly no punches; better Stark concussed and down for the count than fighting back against them.

Stark drops like a stone. Steve goes to his knees beside him, hefting him onto his back. "Stark?"

Stark groans, pushing himself to one side and gagging. He doesn't throw up — a small blessing amidst what they've just had to do to him — but it seems like it's a close thing.

"Goddamn, Cap, you pack a punch."

Relief floods Steve like a dam has broken. "You back with us?"

Stark shakes his head, then gags again. "Oh, god, that was a bad idea." He takes a few more slow, deep breaths before pulling himself to his feet. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm— I'm back with you."

There's something off in the way he says it, and Natasha seems to agree if the way she looks over at Steve is any indication.

"I'm fine," Tony says, as though sensing their worry. "Let's just do this thing." He turns to Steve, before re-engaging the helmet and turning his eyes to the sky, filled with the army that's coming for them. "Call it, Cap."

* * *

Tony keeps losing time, his mind drifting in the middle of the fight as he does what Cap tells him to do. The concussion is worse than any he's had before, deeper and more intense. More immediate. There's two or three instances where a dive or turn sends his stomach rolling, but he manages not to vomit inside the suit. He'd done that exactly once and has never made that mistake again. There's a battle to be fought, challenges to be met, and he has no time for pain. No time to slow down to be or do anything but focus on what's right in front of him.

So he does. He fights and fights and fights and when Fury's call comes in there's nothing for it but to lay everything on the line. This may be Cap's only home, but it's his home too. He said it to Loki before he'd lost himself and he'll whisper it again into the deep vastness of space.

_If we can't save Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it._

* * *

When Stark comes plunging out of the last few square feet left of the hole in the sky, Steve's more grateful than he dares to admit. The relief is overpowering, all-encompassing, and then it comes crashing down at his feet at Thor's words.

"He's not slowing down."

Steve's helpless to do anything but stare up as Thor winds up his hammer, as the Hulk leaps through the sky and brings Tony down safely. Steve feels like his own breath has been stolen as he rips the faceplate off, leaning in to listen for Tony's breath. He can't hear any, nor can he check for a pulse through the heavy armor.

Not that he hadn't tried out of habit alone.

There's nothing left for them to do, except—

Hulk roars and then Tony's jerking on the ground below them. Steve can't shake the relief in his bones that Tony's okay, that he's _alive_ , and that has to be some kind of miracle. He flew a damn _nuke_ into outer space and yet here he is, lying on the ground in front of him with his eyes wide and bright and living as they scan the group above him.

Steve scarcely cares what Tony's saying. He'll agree to just about anything at this point, if it means Tony's alive and well. Anything.

Anything.

* * *

Tony makes it a solid three hours into the clean up efforts after the run-in with Loki at the Tower and their brief interlude at the shawarma joint. Three hours without incident. And of course— of _course_ it's Cap that keeps sending him questioning looks as they work. Because if anyone is going to be an observant asshole besides Natasha, of course it would be Cap.

But Tony's fine. He's doing his job and he's helping out and he's _fine_ , Cap, seriously, just—

Tony grits his teeth. He just has to make it to nightfall, and then maybe he can beg off with the rest and heal in private.

* * *

Cap insists on dragging Tony to SHIELD Medical after they finish off the last little bits of clean-up they've been cleared to do. Natasha and Clint are arguing with the local authorities, Bruce is still tending to the wounded that he can find, and Thor is gallantly ignoring everyone that tries to tell him to stop helping because he _isn't bound by their petty human laws_.

While his team — and maybe they are a team now — handles things on the ground, Steve sees to them. To one of them in particular.

Because Tony had been doing everything he could to help, throwing money at everything he and his suit couldn't fix, but he'd listed a bit to the side every time he'd finished moving one of the heavier pieces of rubble. It was enough to have Steve worried and enough for him to catch Natasha watching Tony a bit more closely too. She'd caught his eye and nodded. It was enough of an agreement as he was likely to get out of her, and Steve was willing to take it.

So now here he is, waiting outside SHIELD Medical while they test Tony for whatever it is that they're worried about.

"Captain Rogers?"

Steve's on his feet instantly when Dr. Cho opens the door. "Doctor."

She smiles at him. "Come on in."

Steve follows obediently, hoping against hope that things aren't as bad as he's making them out to be in his head. To his relief, Tony's upright on the exam table. The relief is quashed immediately when Dr. Cho sighs.

"Stark. I told you to stay horizontal until I can get the CAT scan."

"And I told _you_ , I'm _fine_." He catches sight of Steve and wrinkles his nose. "Oh, god, please tell me you didn't try to get me a bedside nurse."

Steve turns to look at Dr. Cho. "Does he need one?"

"He's a terrible patient," Dr. Cho says. They both ignore the way Tony rolls his eyes in response only to wince. "And in addition to the bumps and bruises he's sustained a moderate concussion. We're going to do a few more tests just to make sure he doesn't have a brain bleed, and then I'm going to release him to your care."

Steve blinks. "Me?"

"You."

"Oh, come on," Tony says. "I don't need a—"

Dr. Cho silences him with a look. "He'll need to be woken every two hours through the night to make sure nothing worsens and that he's still coherent. And _don't_ let him go out to help with the clean-up effort."

Steve forces his face to stay calm and even. It's not what he wanted to hear. He'd like to go back out and help some more himself, but he also doesn't think it would be right to hand this responsibility off to anyone else. They're out there doing plenty of good themselves, and Thor can do just as much as Steve himself can. More, maybe. Besides, he'd come up here with Tony himself, and he doesn't want to leave the man alone after what he'd done. What he'd almost given to save them. "Understood," Steve says once he's sure his voice can stay even and steady.

"Come on," Tony whines. "I don't need a _nanny_."

"No," Dr. Cho says sharply. "You need someone to keep you alive."

That seems to sober Tony completely.

"Now, come on," she says, taking Tony by the elbow, easing him off the exam table and out of the room.

Steve settles on a chair. The thought that they could have lost Tony not to the nuke, not to the fall, but to a damn brain bleed hurts in a way he doesn't want to admit.

He'd known he was overlooking Tony from the start, but to hear it laid out so plainly aches. Would he have even come to Medical if Steve hadn't dragged him? Would he have gone home alone? Gone to bed alone?

Would Steve have woken up the next morning to the news that Tony Stark had died alone in his bed that night?

Steve shivers. It's a damning insight.

Steve loses time somewhere in there, his mind drifting with the knowledge that he came this close to losing the man that saved them all. The man that he'd so terribly misjudged.

The man that could be so much more if he ever let himself want something more.

The thought drops a stone in his stomach, an ache and a pain and that acute kind of loss he hasn't felt since he lost Bucky. It digs its claws into his lungs and leaves him breathless.

He's nearly gotten himself into a full-blown panic attack before Dr. Cho brings Tony back. Steve looks up, taking in his expression. Tony looks chastened, but no worse for wear. Steve shifts his gaze to Dr. Cho, whose face is stern but relieved.

"No brain bleed?" he asks. He hopes they can all ignore the way his brain breaks on the last word.

Dr. Cho doesn't comment on Steve's voice. "No brain bleed," she agrees. Steve breathes a sigh of relief. "He does need to be woken through the night so we know he's okay and make sure that nothing gets any worse, but it shouldn't be much to worry about."

"You seem to be laboring under the delusion that I'll be sleeping at all after this, Doc."

That makes Steve sit up. "You're going to rest, Tony. Your body needs it."

"My _city_ needs me," Tony snaps. "My body can wait."

Steve's always known he preferred men. Peggy was a blessed break from the norm in a time when his norm was so far from accepted. He knows things are different now, but he'd never let himself look too close at anyone. Who would want a washed up old hero anyway? He hasn't been struck by a man since before the war. But seeing Tony there, skin pallid and bruises under his eyes, Steve thinks he's never seen someone so beautiful.

Steve gets to his feet. "Our city has our team looking out for it, Tony. You can take a night off."

Tony glares at him, wincing when that seems to exacerbate his pain. "If the rest of the team is out there, I should be out there too."

"The rest of them weren't possessed by a deranged demigod on a rampage and forced to fight their friends.

"Clint was."

"And Natasha's making Clint rest as soon as the sun goes down," Steve counters. "Plus his head injury wasn't half as bad as yours."

Tony manages a small smile at that. "What, because he didn't have his head bashed in by vibranium?"

Steve winces. "Sorry about that."

Tony waves him off. "You did what you had to do, and I know you didn't enjoy it."

"I really didn't."

Tony's smile softens. "You're not going to let this drop, are you?"

"Nope."

Tony laughs. "Alright, then. If you're volunteering."

Steve gets to his feet. "I am."

"Then let's get back to the Tower. Whatever's left of it."

Steve steadies Tony when he wobbles ever so slightly. "And you're going to _rest_ when you get there."

Tony just laughs. "If you say so, Cap. If you say so."


End file.
